Hiring Family or Friends - A Business Coach's Perspective

Most of my business coaching

clients, at some point or another, want to hire either a family member or a friend.  I usually advise against it.  They usually do it anyway.  I understand.  It’s very tempting.  It is one of those ideas that seems so good at the time.  And, sometimes it is.  But, here is the question:  How many would do it again?  A few would.  Most would not.  The truth is that when it works out, there’s nothing better.  And, of course, when it doesn’t there is nothing worse.

If you are considering hiring a friend or family member, here are ten things to think about:

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  Tip #1: Don’t let your need for loyalty overshadow your objectivity. Business owners are lonely.  They want someone in their business they know they can really trust.  Someone who will tell them the truth.  Sometimes, this need outweighs their objectivity about whether this person is the right person for the job.  Be careful here.  It’s a bit tricky.
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  Tip #2: It is always easier to get into these things than to get out. Seriously.  On the front end, it’s easy to say “Hey, let’s give it a try.  If it doesn’t work, that’s fine.  We won’t let anything come between us.”  Sounds reasonable.  Usually doesn’t work that way.  Here’s why:  If it doesn’t work, often only one of you is aware that it’s not working.  Usually, one wants out and the other doesn’t.  Hurt feelings.  Resentment.  Ugly.
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  Tip #3: This person will have an inordinate amount of power in your company due to their personal relationship with you. No one ever believes this.  They think that if they treat the person the same as everyone else, all will be well.  This is simply not the case.  Believe me, I see this every day in my business coaching.  Everyone in the company will be aware of your relationship.  They know that this person will know things no one else knows.  They know this person will have your ear in a way no one else will.  They have power.  Even if they don’t know it, they have power.
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  Tip #4: It will be hard to treat them the same as you treat everyone else. You think it won’t be, but it will.  You will either expect more from them and be harder on them, or, you will not want to confront them with poor performance, so you will go easy on them.  One of the most embarrassing (for the business owner) situations I have witnessed in all my business coaching is when the business owner starts defending their friend or family member in front of other staff.
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  Tip #5: Friends and family are more valuable than having another good employee. You can hire someone else, but you can’t go out and hire another family member or friend.  Those are hard to come by.  Give serious consideration to the risk you take when you hire one of them.  What will happen to the personal relationship if the work relationship doesn’t work out?
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  Tip #6: Before you hire them, imagine firing them. Because it might happen.  Think about what it would be like to call them into your office and tell them they have to go.
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  Tip #7: Seriously consider hiring them on a trial basis. Agree to a 90-day trial.  That way it will be less painful to get out if it doesn’t work.
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  Tip #8: If you decide to hire them, put your expectations in writing. Think of it like a prenuptial agreement, only for business.   What will their job be?  Who will they report to?  How will they be compensated?  What will the conditions for termination be?  What will the “out package” be?
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  Tip #9: Set boundaries. If you do hire them, keep personal personal.  Keep work at work.  Don’t mix the two.  If you are socializing, don’t cross over and talk about work.  If you are at work, don’t bring the personal into it.
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  Tip #10: Others will not be honest with you about this person’s behavior or performance. You think they will.  They won’t.  I have seen it in my business coaching over and over again.  Your other employees will be afraid to tell you the truth when it comes to someone who is a family member or friend.  Even if you ask, you probably won’t get a straight answer.  Trust me on this.

This gives you some food for thought.  It’s a very serious decision.  Take sufficient time to make it.

noconnor@mindspring.com

www.nanoconnor.com